Where It Begins

For years, I struggled with my own negativity. I sought out the worst in every situation and I believe it manifested an illness within me. In 2014, I was diagnosed with Lupus. In the months leading up to my diagnosis, I was tired, achey, sick and just plain miserable. It took everything out of me, and my negativity was only making it worse. It wasn't until I was given a name for what was happening with my body that I had an "aha!" moment. Stress and negativity wore my body down, so I decided that stress and negativity didn't deserve a place in my life. Something changed within me and I realized that the things that most of us stress over aren't actually worth the energy we give them.

From that moment, I decided I needed to stop worrying about things I could not control and I learned so much. I wanted to make a real effort to not give in to the negativity that others tried to rope me into. I learned to listen to my body and to take care of my health. I learned that without taking care of me, I was no good to anyone else. So, I learned to say no when I just wasn't feeling up to hanging out. I used to always agree to any social event or outing out of fear of disappointing people. I learned that the people that really cared about me, understood that it wasn't about them when I had to say no, I just needed to take care of my body. I learned who really and truly loved me.

Out of all of the negative that I could have dwelled on, I found a silver lining, a sparkle. I've often said that my illness is a blessing and a curse. Obviously, everyone wants to be healthy but this has taught me to slow down and really listen to my body. I've really learned more about myself since and I love who I am more than ever.

This is what has led me to create this little blog. I believe there is so much in this world that can make us smile, we just have to look a little bit.

In a crowd of scowls, find the smile. When it's dark, find the light. When the world is dull, 

find them sparkles.