Every Day Is A New Beginning

-

Tomorrow is a big day. Nearly 8 months of one health disaster after another, I finally get to go back to work. While I'm going back to my same job, it's been so long that it will feel unfamiliar, almost new again. The transition will be slow but exactly what I need. 
Very excited!

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Gratitude

-
Image
Not too long ago, I put on make-up for the first time in weeks. It doesn’t sound like a big deal but I hadn’t done it in so long that it was almost foreign. My hands were shaky. I had lost a lot of strength while in hospital so it was a tiny bit more difficult that usual. A couple of days after I was discharged from the hospital, I drove my car for the first time in almost a month. I needed to go to some medical appointments during the week while everyone else was working so I needed to take myself there. I had terribly anxiety about it. I drive a manual transmission and having lost the strength in my legs made driving difficult too. It felt like I was driving a car for one of the first times after receiving your license. The other day, I was crossing a busy road and to try and keep the traffic from waiting on me, I thought I would quickly jog across. My legs almost gave out and I almost fell. I’m still having issues walking up the stairs, opening bottles or jars an...
Read more

Fourty

-
Image
Today, I turned 40. I thought I would dread this day. I cried on my 29th birthday because 30 was just around the corner and it was scary. But then I turned 30, and I finally started to feel comfortable in my own skin. I was figuring out what I wanted, and didn't want, out of my relationships with people and with myself. I didn't need a million friends that I needed to pretend for, just a few that I could be my true self around. My thirties was a time where I was finally figuring out who I was. But it was also a time where I wasn't sure what my life had in store for me.  At 31, I was diagnosed with Lupus. Over the next couple years, my doctors and I worked to figure out a medical plan for me going forward. I spent my 35th birthday in the hospital due to complications and then was in and out of hospital over the next two years. I almost didn't make it to 37. But now here I am, FOURTY.  I have started getting wrinkles.  My body aches sometimes (ok, a lot of the time). I...
Read more

Reclaiming My Body

-
Image
Since my last post, things have improved. I may even get to go home soon. I've been here just over 6 weeks but hopefully, not much longer. I saw the doctor today and it looks like my blood counts are improving on their own. A couple more stable days and she said they would feel comfortable letting me leave. Aside from needing to rebuild my strength, I feel ready. I've been here so long, the seasons have actually changed. I showed up in summer, wearing a maxi dress and flip flops and I'll be leaving in the fall, with a taste of Calgary winter in between, and need to have warm clothes brought to me. Thankfully I've had a nice view to see it all happen. For almost my entire stay, I've had something called a Central Venous Catheter in my neck. I'm what they call a "hard poke" so trying to get an IV line started in my arm or hand is extremely difficult. This is the why I get so bruised. This CVC goes in through the big vein in the neck and ends up i...
Read more